Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
