Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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