guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
