Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We got so high we made milksteak
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
