someone owes me an orgasm
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
