I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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