mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize