he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
