Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
