My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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