Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
