is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
