wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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