She said her name was "party"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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