Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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