If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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