Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
