so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
