nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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