I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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