we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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