I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
