I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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