i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
