uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
