Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
