i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
