I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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