The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
