i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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