he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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