DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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