hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
