you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
