Say something about gay babies.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
