Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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