Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
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It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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