dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
