i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
