i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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