Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
