If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
