Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
