I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
should my penis look like a turkey
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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