When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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