I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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