Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
