While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
