There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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