C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
