hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
