It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
