apparently the secret to your success is patron
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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