whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
