yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
