You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
