Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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