I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This baby is an asshole
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
