I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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