I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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