Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
