Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just want to make out with him forever
Randomize
