At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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